This week I came to a personal decision, from now on I am going to a limousine for all of my dates. I am not going to be using my car anymore for dates. Many, I expect, won't even consider this as a clever option. I have been so busy these days, It is only once or twice a month that I even go on a date. While working, I use my car to drive all over the place and I am not disciplined enough to make sure my car is washed weekly or even detailed monthly. On date nights, I arrive at my house, make sure my paper work is in order for the next day, and then put together a decent looking set of clothes right before I take to the shower to rinse off the undesired part of my day. This is about an hours worth of time, my smart phone vibrating the entire time, at which point I dash out of the house to get inside my alright looking sedan to pick up my date praying that my counterfeit charm will distract her from the clear reality that every detail about my car and clothing screams "middle income Joe".
Advised solutions by my friends is to "simply" trade in my current car for on that is sexier like a BMW, and then just put the money and time down each month to get it washed and detailed. This of course means a higher insurance payment as well as a new car payment to cover each month, God forbid I op for the gap insurance too. It isn't even worth contesting how clear it is that this strategy would greatly increase the quality of my two dates every month; Men with almost developed charm and being "drop dead gorgeous" get to the best part of the evening by their car saying success. But still, though the results are desired, the extra price I will be paying each month starts at around four to five hundred dollars and only goes up from there. This doesn't even cover the extra money I will be spending on the date to make her believe I am what the car is telling her I am; a better than average restaurant, fancy bars, more drinks than we can count, etc.... $800 is just the beginning of what my monthly date costs will have become.
Solution? A fricking limousine service. Screw the new car payment. Forget the extra time it would take to keep my car looking sexy. Forget about worrying where I will park my new car. I arrive at my house on a date night, drag my tired body into the shower right after I call a limo service and get my paperwork settled for the next day and then confidently go outside to meet my sharp looking driver and the beautiful ride my date and I will have for the evening. Cost each month? Not even close to what I would be paying with a new car. The extra money I save can be my "impression" cash and I can spend more time figuring her out and less time worrying about all the troubles of the road. Conversation not the most stimulating? Call up a few my friends and or hers and turn the limousine into a party wagon. I can then drink as much as the mood would permit and not have to worry about how we are getting home. Bottom line, how do a maximize the fun I can have on the only two available nights I have each month at a fraction of the cost? Use a friking limo service.
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